I found out via Facebook that a friend of mine was laid off from a newspaper job. That sucks. I’ve been there. I sent her a Facebook message encouraging this person to rant to me if he or she wanted. It’s just another topic that bonds the wordsmiths together.
Unemployment is tough to discuss—especially in social situations where a de facto topic of conversation is one-upping one another on how much one’s job sucks. Someone unemployed would love to have that person’s sucky job.
In these times, unemployment could easily become conversation topic non grata. It doesn’t have to be. I’m sure there are etiquette books that have rules on how to approach someone’s unemployment. I’ll give you my suggestions on how to interact with your friend who got laid off:
- If you feel uncomfortable or unsure on how to approach someone’s unemployment, just say so. I had one person Facebook-message me, explaining that she did not know what to say or do in regard to my situation, but that it sucks. You know what? This person’s honesty was unconventionally comforting. Which leads me to my next suggestion:
- Don’t sugarcoat the situation. Your friend is out of a job, and will probably be financially unstable for a while. It will be rough. But also:
- Don’t treat unemployment like certain death. Acting as if someone died compounds the direness of being unemployed. The economy is causing a lot of lay-offs. It is not as if your friend is untalented. If he or she is laid off, he or she is getting severance. If he or she was really inept in the office, he or she would have been fired a long time ago.
- Give the person a day or two to react and be his or her support during that time. You don’t have to really do anything but just listen (although I heard that free drinks can help.) Your friend’s reactions to being freshly unemployed can and will be all over the map. During one hour, your laid-off friend can be relieved he or she is gone from a job he or she didn’t really like. In the next hour, he or she could be bawling that it was the best job he or she has ever had. And the next hour could have an emotive theme you didn’t see coming. Mr. or Ms. Unemployed is probably already freaked out over not having a job and doesn’t want said friends to think they are failures. So just hang around and offer to be a listening ear.
- Encourage your friend to respond to every e-mail he or she receives post-job. The condition of the job market is dire, and this isn’t the time to avoid any potential contacts who can help with job leads. Some encouragement to respond to sympathy e-mails helps your friend to network without it “feeling” like a job search.
- Treat your friend to his or her weakness: Wine, beer, hot wings, cookie dough, Battlestar Galactica marathons: Whatever is within the realm of reason and legality. This will soothe the soul.
- Offer to reach out to your contacts when your friend is ready. Cue the “Most jobs are not advertised” bit from career sites.
Any more suggestions? Add them in the comments.
